luna

where the grass is greener...

2006-09-04T15:46:00.000+08:00

this is where i'll be:

Lunasandwich
moon-dane thoughts on anything under the sun

sorry, nobody home

2006-09-02T11:21:00.000+08:00

today like everyday, i logged into my yahoo messenger account as "invisible to everyone". even to friends. i wonder, why is that? could it be that i'm the only one who does that?

strange how all the connectivity and being wired has only led to an increasing antisocial behavior for me. by letting people know that i have ym, i am simply conforming to a demand to be connected. keeping myself "invisible" though, allows me my freedom to be dis-connected.

that's just my kind of thing. or like what a grouchy green ogre once said, "i like my privacy."

eat shit, live longer

2006-08-23T16:33:00.000+08:00

these days you can't really just eat anymore. you want a porkchop, then you have to swallow the fact that this porkchop was once Babe but most likely injected with stuff to make it big, fat and juicy before hauling it off to the little slaughterhouse of horrors.

but really, Babe, you can do without. so you switch to healthier options like mercury-laden fish or hormone and antibiotic-bred chickens. and your veggies, well, there's your healthy option. how about a fresh garden salad? would you like that with the ddt-thiabendazole dressing? that's about your daily fix of carcinogens, plus possible damages to the immune, reproductive and nervous systems.

now you can complain, "there's nothing to eat!"

nothing safe to eat, you mean. fortunately, there are still some alternatives.

go organic. buy organic. or if you have the means, grow organic. it really just means going back to the basics. when chickens roamed (almost) wild and free, and when the earth smelled of shit instead of pesticides.

me says, it's worth a try.

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organic.org lists the dirty dozen* - the 12 most contaminated fruits and vegetables that you're best advised to buy them organic.

Apples
Bell Peppers
Celery
Cherries
Grapes (Imported)
Nectarines
Peaches
Pears
Potatoes
Red Raspberries
Spinach
Strawberries

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*produce which have a heavier pesticide load

close encounters with the third kind

2006-08-21T15:58:00.000+08:00

a word war seems to be brewing between inquirer columnists manolo quezon and former supreme court justice isagani cruz, jr.

it all starts with justice isagani cruz's objectionable piece complaining about how the gay and lesbian population has steadily increased in most societies, even, according to cruz, our comparatively conservative one (see "Don we now our gay apparel"). his complaint centers not so much in their increasing numbers but on the increasing acceptance of societies towards gays and lesbians. or maybe that is one and the same for him. they are "multiplying" because they have become socially "acceptable". but cruz is not about to join the bandwagon as he draws the line between those who can expect his good graces and respect and those who simply don't. the former category includes, and i quote, "...members of their group who have conducted themselves decorously, with proper regard not only for their own persons but also for the gay population in general. A number of our local couturiers, to take but one example, are less than manly but they have behaved in a reserved and discreet manner..." and his seeming contempt is reserved for, "..the vulgar members of the gay community who have degraded and scandalized it." you read his article and you know this guy is gonna get some trouble. or like we commonly say, "away ito."

shortly after, manolo quezon, who quite recently admitted to being gay, reacts to cruz's article and rightfully calls him a bigot and a hate-monger (see "The grand inquisitor"). at the same time, the gay and lesbian community is in an uproar and emails, open letters and comments did the rounds of mailing lists, blogs and not surprisingly found their way to the inquirer.

lo and behold, cruz gives back an angry retort (see "Neither here nor there") and starts to invoke the first amendment and defensively uses free expression as his shield.

for now it seems manolo has the last word in his column, "Oblivious in cloud cuckoo-land". truly, he drives home the point when he says, "Hence my strong objection to Justice Cruz’s insisting on a distinction between acceptable and unacceptable gays. There is the danger that in less discerning hands—including those wielding closed fists, those who are eager to strike a blow for normality on the faces of those who flout convention—the distinction he attempts cannot be maintained. And that even if it were, it would only ensure temporary safety for some, not all; when in their heart of hearts, all gay people are fundamentally the same because of their sexuality. And that is why his distinction is unacceptable: it divides, so that he may rule. That leaves no room for toleration or cohabitation, much less mutual respect."

if this is a continuing saga, we will soon find out.

hey!

2006-07-06T11:40:00.000+08:00

i don't know why some people still keep pets when their actions clearly show they don't really want one.

our neighbor (oh no, not another neighbor) who lives across us, owns two dogs. everyday, he finds out his dogs have soiled their cage (it is quite a cramped cage for two adult dogs) which would upset him, always. he would now start muttering and shouting to the dogs about how baboy (pig-like) they are, how they never learn and a host of other invectives the dogs wouldn't understand* anyway (or maybe they could sense it). as he proceeds to clean their cage, i would hear a few yelps from the dogs as they are most likely hit or slapped by angry owner.

and this happens everyday. the unhappiness of these dogs are clearly evident in their appearance. they have thinning fur, exposing skin that is almost covered with sores and blisters. when they are led out of the cage one at a time for a walk, this sense of "freedom" must be so overwhelming to the dog as it scrambles away, dragging its owner behind.

i cannot say that this pet owner is entirely bad. he seems to be quite dutiful in keeping their cage clean and taking the dogs for brief walks. unfortunately, pet-keeping and its daunting tasks may be too much for him. especially with an unrealistic view that a dog has excellent bladder and poop control that can hold for hours until his next walk. and of course, that a life inside a cramped cage is what a dog deserves.

i am contemplating on sending an anonymous letter to my neighbor that would contain humane pet ownership and effective dog-training tips. i hope this would help in making the dogs' lives better and more stress-free. and maybe his life too.

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several sites on pet care:
veterinary petcare
peta companion animals
care4pets

*a current favorite gary larson cartoon about a scientist's discovery on what barking dogs are actually saying (coming soon)

lethargy of the word

2006-07-05T17:19:00.000+08:00

the funny thing about blogging is that you have to assume that somebody actually reads what you write, which gives you some kind of responsibility to post something — something at par with the ones you've already written, for your "loyal" reader/s.

the past weeks since my last post i have been urging myself to write the blog entries i've been composing in my mind. unfortunately, they have all been kept at bay either by pressing tasks or more urgent laziness.

i am quite tired of using the current mercury retrograde as an excuse, but if far more powerful forces are at work here, why resist? in fact, i started this post yesterday but i'm quite optimistic i will finish it today with a bit of satisfaction that it came out the way i planned.

it was a surprise to me when two weeks ago, my inbox contained this article from the webmd newsletter: "the positive power of daydreaming". this to me is almost akin to a scientific/medical breakthrough. finally, there is an attempt to understand the true inner workings of a human body that does not necessarily conform to race track settings or minute-by-minute account of things accomplished. to me, one is not necessarily "recharged" by a one-hour lunch break or even an eight-hour sleep. putting-off for tomorrow what you can do today may simply mean gearing up for a more inspired burst of productivity or creativity for the next days to come. not everything has to happen now. even the masters, the geniuses often stared blankly or indulged in less productive endeavors. but look what came next.

i've often assured my friend who's a writer that doing nothing or something else despite a pressing deadline is in fact part of the creative process.

so coming out with this blog post can only mean one thing. i have had my rest.

moondane thoughts

2006-06-20T12:53:00.000+08:00

one of the things i dread the most is when my three year old daughter is looking for something - a toy, a drawing, an object - whose specific name or exact description she can't remember at the moment, so she has to go through the daunting task of describing it to me, an adult.

i brace myself as the little patience she can muster slowly ebbs away the minute i say, "no, i don't know where it is" or "no, i haven't seen it." then she will exasperatingly start describing it to me, in slowly rising decibels, starting with it's color. ok color is good. i name a toy. that's not it. feet will start to shuffle now as she follows me with a rain of descriptions that never quite go beyond, "yung ano", "yung ganito", which she matches with movements to demonstrate what she does with it or mimicking what sound it makes like "pffft" "shrrum" "brrrm". i am lost and to my daughter, completely ignorant and useless.

these episodes usually end with a tantrum and a desperate attempt on my part to hand over anything remotely close to her "pffft yellow thing." until finally we find the darn thing. and it turns out to be: a green hair clip.

baguio in flux

2006-06-07T16:38:00.000+08:00

balanced rock formation. a "new" addition to the botanical garden

baguio holds fond memories for me. i forged enduring friendships and even met my partner in this city that has been known as the summer capital of the philippines. i remember it offered me solace back then and even a desire to make it a second home. i have made several trips to baguio in the last decade. most of them much-needed breaks and treats for loved ones who were first-timers. each trip came with excitement and anticipation, like visiting an old friend. curious as to how time has changed it, wondering if the favored places still held their unique charm.

but through the years what once was a threat of massive development and commercialization has now become a bitter reality for the city of pines. a landscape that early on unravelled rolling mountains covered with lush greenery are now either badly deforested or littered with colored rooftops. traffic along the major thoroughfares worsened. establishments from manila slowly creeped and now opened outlets in the city. top of this is the sm mall operating since november 2003.

and the ukay-ukay stores, the haven of the bargain hunting fashionista, now holds fixed prices. this, i lament the most.

but despite all these, some good things remain. session road still transforms into an eclectic mix of artists, bargain hunters, and a host of other characters wanting a taste of baguio's nightlife. although recently, a 2 a.m. curfew on bars and liquor stores is sure to dampen the spirits of baguio's nocturnal lot.

a most reassuring thing, is tam-awan village, set up by national artist bencab and other baguio artists along a hillside near bokawkan road. entering this artists' village is like going through a portal of baguio past. it is also surprisingly cooler owing to its dense foliage. authentic ifugao huts were installed in different areas of the hillside, treating visitors to climbs along steep pathways to reach each hut, quite reminiscent of exploring the town of sagada. it almost felt like you weren't in baguio but further up in the cordillera region.

as for the usual tourist destinations - the parks - to me, have lost most of their appeal. if anything, they have become painful reminders of a deteriorating baguio, lost to the onslaught of human settlement and development.

KFC-free and liking it

2006-05-08T16:56:00.000+08:00

it's been more than a year since we last walked into one of colonel sander's fried chicken stores, ordered their classic fried chicken, dipped it in warm gravy before taking a hefty bite of the crisp, juicy chicken. these days when looking for a place to eat, we would gladly trade our craving for chicken — that KFC would be more than willing to indulge us — to the neighborhood carinderia that offers not as crispy, not as juicy chicken (for this i am glad there's chicken joy from jollibee). this self-imposed boycott is not part of a campaign for bigger chicken portions or better service or overflowing gravy. it is, in fact, part of a campaign that PETA* started almost five years ago, for KFC to put a stop to it's cruelty to chickens.

i have not exactly mustered the strength to go vegetarian (choosing instead healthy eating, whatever that means), but i feel we have to draw the line somewhere on the way our food is treated before it it served on our plate. for example, i love pinikpikan but wish there was simply a better way for it to achieve its flavor than to beat the chicken senseless to get the desired blood clots that gives it its unique taste. and after that, should the chicken survive the beating, it's sure to find its end as it is roasted in open fire in whatever degree of consciousness it's still in. to be party to my meal's agonizing experience may be too much. i am thankful that baguio, where this dish is served, is hours away from manila.

the truth is, is there really a good way to be eaten? would a happy and content chicken be as grateful as a miserable, debilitated chicken that you ended its existence? should there be more uproar if you butchered Babe than if it's just a nameless, smelly swine in a piggery? ah, and so the endless debate begins. they're food, that's their fate. but do we really have the right to do it just because we can?

the answers, only colonel sanders can tell.

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*PETA - People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals

Cartoon from Gary Larson's The Far Side

"Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel."

2006-04-27T12:54:00.000+08:00

gloria arroyo's eyes are shut. she is down on her knees, her arms outstretched beside her in utmost surrender.

if you think this is a scene where gloria macapagal-arroyo has, in some manner of divine intervention, admitted to all her wrongdoings, and with utmost humility and remorse, asks the nation for forgiveness — think again.

gma is simply in prayer. or a pose in the guise of a prayer.

i wonder how people like her or george bush have the audacity to call on God or claim to hear the voice of God, as if by by merely saying so their evil deeds are justified. in fact, it's when they are faced with the most damaging criticisms that people like them turn to prayer or their version of some kind of spirituality. then it is no wonder that they hear voices. as to the source of that voice, your guess is as good as mine.

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the title of this post, courtesy of lisa simpson.

setec astronomy

2006-04-26T14:09:00.000+08:00

if you've seen the film sneakers, then you know hidden in these two words is the phrase, "too many secrets".

is it good to be at the receiving end of a confidence? no matter how trivial, how embarassing, how evil, how lewd, how shocking — should it be taken as a compliment?

i was sent a slumbook type questionnaire by a friend a few months back that i gamely answered and sent to other friends as well. one of the questions asked was, "do you trust others easily?" only one answered "yes". and to the question, "have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell?", almost everyone answered, "yes".

three incidents nearly two decades ago put a stop to my "random" confiding. the first was when i told someone from an organization i joined that i have a sister diagnosed with schizophrenia. i confided it over lunch, was a bit emotional because that day i had just had a quarrel with that sister of mine. on our way back to our tambayan, he went ahead of us then declared to everyone there, "pare, yung pamilya ni mira, may sayad". so the confidence turned into a joke. any other time maybe i would have just laughed it off, but that day, i felt kinda raw. i instantly regretted telling him.

the second time, i told a fellow staffer of our campus paper of my surreal experience when i slept over at a friend's house. at that time, it was a mystery to me if i had something going on with that particular friend. to the fellow staffer i narrated how in the middle of the night i thought i heard my friend tell me how he felt about me, thinking i was asleep. i wasn't asleep. but i don't think i was fully awake either. i was just in the borders. this tale of mine apparently reached him through another person but i'm not sure how accurate the version was. i was confronted about it, and i, being too scared to hear rejection, simply denied it. it was never brought up again. and a lesson in "who you tell your secrets to" was once again learned.

and finally, the last incident that had me thinking better of confiding to unworthy friends was when i revealed a very difficult decision i made to a close female friend. to say that she was shocked and utterly disappointed in me is an understatement. she kept crying that I had to console her. trust that friend of mine to turn my revelation into something about her. a series of "how could you do that?" and "now pa, that i'm reviewing for the bar." needless to say, i am quite positive she has disclosed this to our other friends as well. that i have not been burned on the stake surprises me.

the valuable lesson may seem to be distrust, but it really isn't. i think it is merely caution. i still confide to friends but it has become quite rare. let me be the receiver instead. and i may have honed this well judging from the way mere acquaintances have decided to confide in me things they'd rather not tell their own friends. as for my friends, well, sometimes what they tell me border on the "whoa. too much info. we have to draw the line somewhere." (but too late i am now scarred for life) — i just take those as tokens of trust.

for now my partner is my confidant. for most part. i think we are each other's.

in memoriam

2006-04-25T14:06:00.000+08:00

he drank his coffee black. no sugar. "bakla lang ang nag-aasukal", he used to say.

he could exist on cheese and crackers alone, and surely wouldn't mind if he could have a glass of wine with it. his ways seem very european, so cultured. only much later would we learn that it was because he had stayed there for more than a decade.

he would invite us to malate but instead of hanging out in one of the numerous bars, we would be in a corner store where beer is sold cheap. once, after a few rounds we passed by a videoke bar and decided to sing a couple of tunes. i've never seen him sing with so much abandon (though he was not really singing. it was more like just mouthing "watermelon. watermelon.") especially at a place where you could easily get killed if you sang an unsatisfactory version of "My Way".

his pirated cd and dvd collection could rival any film buff's. i doubt if he listened to anything but classical music. although he would gamely watch a rock concert (whether free or for a cause) as long as there's beer and good company and smoking allowed.

he knew so many people and the ease with which he could adapt to whoever he was talking to - from peasant to executive or high profile personality - was quite amazing.

he talked little of his family or their influence, and their wealth (which he had turned his back on, like an heiress to an unwanted fortune). and for our part, we never asked. for he offered a friendship that required none of that. it didn't matter who you are, where you came from, how much money you made (or didn't).

it's been a little more than a year since he succumbed to cancer. we miss him a lot and are reminded of him in several occasions - what he would say if he were with us today, in this gma*-infested times. my guess is, it would be a succinct, "'tangna nya".

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sonny evangelista
dec 2, 1941 - april 10, 2005

*gloria macapagal-arroyo, cheat executive of the philippines

time for a cool change

2006-04-24T17:45:00.000+08:00

i just discovered that somebody i know decided to choose the same template for the blog she just recently created. and so i said, ok that's my cue! not that i mind that she picked the same motif. it's really not personal. it's just that i'm all for individuality. which is funny if not outright stupid because this is a free blogs site with, what, 31 templates to choose from? yes, what are the odds somebody out of the hundreds (or most likely thousands) of users would opt for the same template? silly me.

oops we did it again

2006-04-17T13:29:00.000+08:00

stayed at a hotel during the lenten break. but at least we kept it at an overnight stay. the truth is, for some reason our favored destinations were fully booked. we took it as a reassurance that they truly are favored destinations. not just ours nga lang. so away from the beach once again.

the only difference this time is that our youngest, kaya, decided to improve her swimming skills. and improve she did (i turn on my proud mama voice from this point) - before we went home she had learned how to float on her back using a kickboard. she would hold it on top of her belly like a pillow and just float away. then she decided she wanted more mobility so she mustered the arm floats. now she can keep afloat and see where she's going or what or who she could bump into. we're so thrilled watching her.

it reminds me of marlee, our eldest who when she was around four years old, after watching lilo and stitch didn't want to be confined to a floater. that's when she spent hours imitating lilo swim under water. she was a success. up till now every chance she gets she enjoys the water (as the pool depth would allow her).

what can i say? i've got water babies.

summer's not over and hopefully they'll get more chances to free their innner mermaids.

caution: i'm pms

2006-04-12T12:20:00.000+08:00

i see a curly strand of hair sticking to the bar of soap and instantly, i fume. in my mind i picture myself throwing that bar of soap to the owner of that curly hair. some of the most scathing remarks come to my mind that i would hurl to that curly-haired fellow while explaining why he should have the decency to remove unwanted hairs clinging to a communal soap. i think of all his habits that annoy me and suddenly i feel like i've had it, it's time to call it quits.

a few seconds pass as i clutch the soap dish, ready to be aimed at Curlylocks. i sigh, put the soap dish back then patiently remove curly top's hair off the soap. all thoughts of an impending break-up vaporize.

in a week's time i will have my menstrual period. unquestionably, i am pre-menstrual.

for the unenlightened, pms or pre-menstrual syndrome is the time of month when females are best kept happy, however inhumanly possible. which means staying out of their way but letting them know they are truly loved in every way, letting them indulge in their cravings but heaven forbid telling them they seem to be getting a wee bit more plump, it's giving them a chance to take a break by just keeping the place clean even for a few minutes or simply volunteering to wash the dishes for a change.

should the unfortunate event arise that you have to let her know you have a different opinion from hers, brace yourself. and be absolutely sure of the number of occasions you forgot to put down the toilet seat. it's sure to come up. among other misdeeds. it's going to be a long haul ahead, so best to think twice about that contrary opinion. or best still, if you could manage it, just shut up.

asking too much you'd (dare) say? admittedly, i'd agree. perhaps even in a perfect world that would be too much to ask. then a little understanding may be the key. for myself, if i am easily irritated than usual, then i send warning to the object of my annoyance - and he then relays this to the offspring and, they try to do their best. most times, they fail, i fail. but at least, with understanding, the quick temper is tempered.

i am nowhere near menopausal (a different ball game altogether), i will be pms-ing for quite some time still. i wonder if one day i can find a way to reverse its manifestations. instead of anger, i will find myself laughing more easily, though hopefully not hysterically.

and when that stray strand of curly hair finds itself trapped on the bar of soap, i will simply smile as i free it. anyway, the way they keep getting stuck in almost every place in the house - it may be the last of its kind.

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for those who'd like to take handling pms more seriously, here are some sites to chew on:
alternative pms remedies
medically speaking 1
medically speaking 2
a little bloody quiz

a birthday wish

2006-04-05T20:25:00.000+08:00

i was reading through news articles in inq7.net when i saw one with this title:

Estrada's birthday wish for Arroyo: Resign.

awww. how sweet.

if somebody wished that for me, i'd actually do it. unfortunately i am not the (pseudo) president. and it's not my birthday.

but i'd certainly like some cake today.

late warning (mercury in retro in retro)

2006-04-05T19:38:00.000+08:00

i don't know when i started the habit of looking at a calendar every new year to see on what day the following occasions would fall: (1) my birthday; (2) christmas; (3) new year; (4) my crush's birthday (this was like years ago. think college days) and (5) since i have my own family- their birthdays.

then in the past few years, i started checking out not just these occasions, but a particular occurrence which happens three times every year, for a period of three weeks.

mercury retrograde.

it has a schedule. can you believe it? the first for this year has just passed and looking back, i'm glad our computer survived it. although our monitor did turn yellow for a day or two. it's quite benign compared to previous retrogrades where the computer simply conked out on us.

indeed, keeping attuned to these cosmic occurrences help me understand that there certainly are things that are beyond us. aside from the fact that it gives me and others like me who are "in the know" perfect excuses for our laziness.

happy anniversary!

2006-04-04T12:14:00.001+08:00

as pcij's institutional blog celebrates its first anniversary today, i realized that i missed mine over two month's ago. it is so embarrassing that my blog's first anniversary is marked by, hehe, inactivity. almost a year of that, actually.

i don't know why. it's like i have been sucked into a time-space-warp that took me away from this blog for almost a year. speaking of time-space-warps, did you know that shaider has reinvented himself minus annie his sidekick and the memorable monster supplying aliens who coined the phrase, "time space warp, ngayon din!"? i can't say i like the makeover. he looks more like the front of a car now. well, more on that some other time (i actually have an intention to talk about that?).

so its been more than a year and another one ahead. great. the presssurrrre.

i think i will write more this time. unless another time-space-warp beckons.

love thy neighbor (a tenant's woes part 2)

2005-10-17T16:22:00.000+08:00

i think my neighbor may be the quintessential kept woman. querrida. kabit. number 2. the Enemy.

i don't know her at all which i admit would make most of my assumptions cruelly unfair and biased, as i have gathered them only through observation. i don't even have to eavesdrop even if i was compelled to since usually her conversations are for everyone to hear, though not fit for all to be heard. she's unapologetically loud which makes me sometimes wonder if we had actually made a mistake and had moved into a typical slum area in a lino brocka movie.

i cringe at the way she verbally abuses her maid who also doubles as her child's yaya. if i were to treat the caregiver of my child that way, i don't think i would dare leave my child with that caregiver.

she gives off the impression that she is fearless and will not hesitate to engage anyone in a fight. and i have witnessed this quite a number of times as she haggles for a little consideration with the meralco guy who's tasked to cut off the electricity of customers who were not able to settle due accounts .

but all this changes once the regular "visit" is made - from tigress she transforms into the docile kitty or pussy, if you must. mr. man who we have tagged as "tulfo" (because of the his resemblance), is every bit the stereo type man-with-kept-woman. he answers his cellphone outside of their unit, quickly looking for a quiet spot where he can speak loudly so as to drown out domestic noise from the neighboring units. he arrives usually late in the afternoon or early evening. he is also a bit loud, with the kind of cock-sure bravado of a middle-aged man (she is half his age) who has been around. he stays for a while, but never sleeps over. comes over almost everyday but never on weekends. which is a shame, coz i wonder if he knows her like we "do"?

she is not close with any of the other occupants, but seems quite tight with the owner of these units, who was an entertainer in japan but had settled down with a japanese national. i notice that we have all decided to tolerate her and sometimes engage in a bit of small talk with her - one which she would initiate. otherwise, it would just be perfunctory nods and inaudible greetings thrown her way.

the truth is, i kinda feel sorry for her sometimes. it's quite a sad life, i guess. day in, day out it's just her, their child and the maid. and a few moments of 'borrowed" time with mr. man.

i wonder if sometimes i should extend my pinky of friendship (to offer my hand may be a bit too much). if only to teach her that "h" is not pronounced as "etch".

moon over linden suites

2005-03-29T16:55:00.000+08:00

The view from our window.

Last Saturday’s full moon was left unnoticed as we were cooped inside a hotel room somewhere here in the city. It was a change from our usual holy week sojourns for the past six or seven years that were spent out of town, mostly in the beach. This year, it’s two days at a hotel in the midst of a business district. Not that we had much choice, we were simply enjoying a complimentary stay then extended it to one more day--to enjoy the crowded pool some more and maybe just to tell ourselves that we were actually away somewhere and not just less than half an hour away from home.

But being “away” for a break is quite good, actually. Especially since we were enjoying amenities that were sorely missing from our daily lives- immaculately clean, uncluttered surroundings, air conditioning, cable tv, a bathtub, full-length mirrors, SPACE- it was all there to be indulged in.

To me, hotels have always seemed like entering another world. It’s so easy to shut off the outside world. Just draw the curtains down, and you couldn’t even tell if it’s night or day. Or if you wished to, you could even forget that outside is a third world country smoldered in dust and dirt, and blistering from the hot summer sun.

I'm probably not the type to get used to hotel living. On our second day, I was getting bored and all that tv watching was starting to hurt my eyes. But there was nowhere else to go. To me there's still nothing like going to the beach. You may not be splashing in the waves, but a stroll or just sitting down on the sand can be just as fun. And surely, being at the beach, you couldn't possibly miss that marvelous full moon.

humor post

2005-03-27T12:37:00.000+08:00

happy easter!

gary larson in his "prehistory of the far side" includes this cartoon in his sketchbook sampler section or his "little musings", which he claims border more on the weird than the funny.

well, this is one of the reasons why i love the far side.

the caption to this "jesus rises from the grave" sketch says:
my apologies if half the world takes offense at this. i'm not antireligious or anti-christian (i'm a little cynical about tv evangelists). i just can't help thinking about things like this and what would it feel like to anybody to get up after that long in the netherworld.

hell week-ender

2005-03-15T19:32:00.000+08:00

it's always tough. finishing the design and layout of not just one but two books in less than five days. yes, it can be achieved. but not without aging 5 years within that short period from all the stress and tension. of course it doesn't help if you feel you're not fairly compensated for all the work you put into it. but sadly, NGOs in this part of the world operate that way. they expect you to come out with a book-layout-while-you-wait and still have the nerve to haggle you with your professional fee. really, i thought i was through with working with people like them. but sometimes, you come to think about it, these people have good causes, and most of their advocacies, i believe in or at least, i sympathize with. like i said, it's tough. but it's a living.

skin so (un)fair

2005-03-06T20:39:00.000+08:00

Ever since the “breakthrough” of skin whitening was introduced more than a decade ago, a massive campaign akin to a witch hunt has been launched against all things dark and unbeautiful.

I was in college then, when a skin whitening lotion that promised fairer skin was introduced. A “breakthrough” for colored women who have always dreamed of fairer skin. Now they could come out of their shells, and “reveal” their whiter, fairer skin. Well, thanks a lot. Wasn’t it enough that women have to put up with all the pressure of how they should look like -what their measurements should be, the style of clothes they should be wearing or not wearing, their hair- now we have to be white too? And how is it again that by being dark, there was something wrong with me and every other brown skinned Filipina? Wasn’t this an outrage? Wasn’t it supposed to be?

Sadly, I didn’t hear anybody protesting. Instead, I noticed more people I knew -even a few friends- getting fairer, even those who weren’t even morena to start with. And I didn’t realize what it was until I finally asked- coz I was getting a bit concerned about their sickly pallor which I associated with anemia. That’s when it hit me- this wasn’t just a passing trend, skin whitening was here to stay.

True enough since then, numerous other products with whitening ingredients have surfaced. From body lotions to soap, facial wash, deodorants, face powder, astringents, even laundry soap! Skin whitening is now a thriving business. Of course this means an almost 24/7 barrage of ads extolling the virtues of being fair skinned that could reach natural-born mestiza mestizo heights – if only skin deep.

And so the pressure is on. No dark spot should be left unbleached, no blemish concealed or erased from existence. It is now almost a crime to be spotted with dark underarms, to expose those knees and elbows that are a few shades darker than the rest of you. And that’s only the beginning.

There’s a war out there- and I don’t even know if somebody’s siding with me. The truth is, hearing and seeing this onslaught of why you should have fairer everything on a daily basis – it can get to you. I still love my color and wouldn’t change it for Michael Jackson’s, but I’ve acquiesced to maybe, I should work on my underarms. And these little dark spots on my knees, hmm, maybe that too.

But for anything else skin whitening and the “beauty” business has to offer, my will is strengthened by my mantra- “I am not my dark underarms.” “I am not my blemished tooshie.”

mercury warning (not about fish)

2005-03-04T15:00:00.000+08:00

It’s that time of year again, when the realm of Morpheus has never been more enticing and blissful. Oh, but it is not the yuletide season yet--when the chilly weather makes snuggling under the covers part of the season’s treats. It is a cool March morning and the summer sun is making its presence felt. Still, your warm and cozy bed, or that run-down beat-up sofa or weathered banig beckons and promises a perfect haven for your lethargy.

No doubt, Mercury is in retrograde and there is no fighting it.

Deemed as ruler over commerce, trade, transportation and communication, when in retrograde (appearing from the Earth as going in reverse in its course around the sun), Mercury’s influence may cause delays, setbacks and not a few misunderstandings. Computers can go haywire, with the simplest tasks taking hours to finish. One is best advised to R-E-L-A-X, take things slow, save that file you’re working on, check and double-check or better still, just take a break. Let the cosmic ripple take its course. It is amazing, really, that even the universe allows for breathers every once in a while (in this case, three or four times a year, three weeks to a stretch).

Sadly, in this fast-paced, multi-tasking, race-ahead world, few adhere to this cosmic “warning”. There will always be those, perpetual slaves-to-the-grind, go-getters who will easily dismiss this retrograde as another convenient excuse of the lazy, unambitious idlers. I think it is they who are hardest hit- those who resist and insist, and simply refuse to step back and slow down.

It’s ironic, I think, that Mercury, while in retrograde, “communicates” most to us. And we would do well to sit back and listen. For indeed, isn’t this message from “above” most liberating?

-----

Mercury Retrograde 2005
March 19 to April 12
July 22 to August 15
November 13 to December 3

For a more detailed chart of Mercury cycles and calendar, go to www.astroprofile.com/2005mercuryrx.htm

trash and burn (a tenant's woes)

2005-03-01T15:40:00.000+08:00

we dream of owning our own house. like most middle-income families who settle into temporary homes that eat up most of their income for a piece of property that will never be theirs, yes, we too dream of owning our own home.

but more than that, we also dream of belonging in a community we can be proud of, and we’d care about, inasmuch as it would care about us. in this little subdivision where we’ve resided the past four years, we are, since we moved in, outsiders. a handful of tenants among predominantly homeowners. we are outsiders, tolerated, but never really accepted. we have no voice. being tenants, our concerns only have bearing when it is shared by homeowners or at the very least, our landlady. otherwise, it is dismissed as petty or perhaps too ambitious for people whose tenure is not really secure.

and so it goes. our attempts at convincing our landlady to impose garbage segregation among us tenants (they own ten apartment units) has fallen on deaf ears. ok, our landlady is a septuagenarian, but I think her auditory faculties are working just fine. we have channeled our attempts, instead, on trying to convince them to stop burning their trash in between garbage collection schedules. no matter that we started by handing them a copy of the law (tucked conspicuously in a free copy of a magazine) which clearly states it is prohibited. they still do it. whereas before they could take comfort in ignorance, i think now they have decided on acting on an informed choice. pity for the fledgling, environmentalist/tenant.

we dream more now of owning our own home. and hopefully be part of making a community we dream of.

full moon blogging

2005-02-24T12:32:00.000+08:00

photo taken from http://pinker.wjh.harvard.edu
i don't know if it's mere coincidence that i am starting this blog on a full moon day. or as the moon fulls today or rather, tonight. no matter, however it's called, this is a fitting tribute.

a few months back i was working with a doctor who fancied himself an editor, once explained to me how the word lunatic was coined, as though this was news to me. this came about after what he claimed as me entirely forgetting most of what i said when he made the unfortunate decision to talk to me during the evening. i think he simply confused me with my other selves.

so that sums up what this blog is all about - my selves. our thoughts and ramblings on everything under the moon.